- ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS -

LARDASSIO, THE GREAT ONE ( me ), has been blessed with immeasurable talent, a worldwide media empire, the adoration of millions and an over abundance of modesty. Before we delve into this years edition of Bowl LOSERS, I want to express thanks to those who have always been there for THE GREAT ONE. The following have always offered support and good counsel when called upon. I think of them as  LARDASSIO’S WINNERS ………….

1) DERIK LATTIG –  After meeting Derik in Jerry Jones private suite at Cowboy’s Stadium, I knew this guy had what it takes to make it in THE LARDASSIO business, or show business as it is known to some. I hired him on the spot to head the New Projects division at LARDASSIO WORLDWIDE MEDIA INC. Derik has never dissapointed and has developed a new reality series called AMERICAN PINUPS.  His latest can’t miss HIT SHOW is based on the lives and work of  several beautiful retro style pinup models. THE GREAT ONE expects great things from Derik……Have a look at this trailer for more details…..American Pinups!   www.americanpinups.tv

2) MAD MATT SPORTA – My Man MATT…. When THE GREAT ONE needs an inside look at College/Pro Football games, I send the G-5 for MAD MATT SPORTA. Together we have bankrupted Las Vegas three times, but who is counting ??? Remember THE HAMMERDOWN IN COLATOWN last year, or USC/CLEMSON the last three years ???    MADD MATT is my MUSE……..WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Go see MATT at……..MADMATTSPORTA       www.youtube.com

3) THE MAIN BOARD ( TMB ) – That’s right the guys at TMB have welcomed THE GREAT ONE with open arms and anytime I want to talk sports, I can instantly connect with over 800K of my very best friends. They even organized a HUGE toy drive for those in need over the Holidays. Thanks for the warm welcome guys……….http://www.the-mainboard.com/

4) RIVALS – I want to thank all of my employees at RIVALS and YAHOO SPORTS. You guys tried hard this year, but we still have a long way to go before we can earn the respectability enjoyed by SI/ESPN and the HILLBILLY GAZETTE. Special mention to Pat Forde, Mike Huegenin and David Fox……You guys gave a decent effort this year, but as stated in your contract, you will be required to write your own material in 2012 and stop filching from THE GREAT ONE. Now beat it and get to work……What am I paying you for anyway ???

- LARDASSIO’S LOSERS 2011-2012 BOWL EXTRAVAGANZA -

Hello and welcome to the 2011-2012 LARDASSIOS LOSER’S BOWL EXTRAVAGANZA…….Can I get a WOOOOOOOOOOO ???………AMEN.  2011 provided an exciting season of CFB and once again proved the superior intellect of THE GREAT ONE. I have preached for years that no conference can compete with THE SEC, that TX./OKIE and the rest of THE IRRELEVANT 12 are KAPUT, that TOSU/WISKY/MICHIGAN and the SPARKLES of THE LITTLE 10 are PRETENDERS, that SCAL/OREGAMI and the rest of  THE PUNCHLESS 12 are little more than West coast SISSIES, That THE BE and THE ACC would compete for worst conference dishonors, that ND is a SHAM CFB program, that FSPEWWW/MIAMUH/and UF are FINITO. Ted Williams has nothing on THE GREAT ONE, I’m batting an even thousand…………………… Now it’s time for LARDASSIO’S BEEF………Losing teams (UCLA) in Bowls ??? UF, TOSU and other barely above .500 teams receiving bids ??? The sheer number of meaningless Bowls ??? It’s almost enough to cause THE GREAT ONE to give up on CFB altogether. Instead, I have decided to call a meeting with the commissioners of all major conferences ( except the ACC ) and the AD’s of each member school. I will propose a playoff format and offer to televise the entire event via LARDASSIO INTERNATIONAL MEDIA INC.’s new television network. THE GREAT ONE will solve this madness once and for all. And what of The ACC ???  The MAC will exchange places with these CLOWNS. The ACC proved once and for all that they do not belong in D1 Football. Speaking of the ACC…..On to the LOSERS……….

1)  THE ORANGE BOWL -

WVU ABSOLUTLY FREAKING DESTROYS CLEMSON 70-33 ……….THE GREAT ONE, LARDASSIO, ( me ) is proud to present the number one LOSER for the 20011-12 CFB Bowl season. This extreme dishonor goes to the CLEMSON TIGRESSES who managed  not only embarrass themselves, but also served to cement the ACC’s position as the worst major CFB conference.  Like the SUGAR Bowl, I want to know how in HELL could either of these LOSERS got into a BCS game ???   As with The SUGAR Bowl, I watched the first 10 minutes of the game, then changed over to River Monsters. I checked the score 45 minutes later and WVU ran it in on the last play of the first half to go up 49-20……THE GREAT ONE can assure you that I did not miss a single play of the second half, which proved to be as bad as the first for the TOOTHLESS TIGRESSES …….I said all year CLEMSON was over rated ( In fact, dear reader, if you will kindly refer to LARDASSIO’S LOSERS WEEK Xll, you will note that THE GREAT ONE predicted CLEMSON would lose their last three games … Well they lost 2/3 ) ……LARDASSIO, RIGHT AGAIN…….WOOOOOOOOOOO…………….CLEMSON  now stands ALONE as  the  LOSER in the worst beating ever administered to a Conference Champion and participant in a BCS Bowl game. And God forbid we forget the recipient of the  Bobby Dodd National Coach of the year award, one DABO BIEBER. Coach BIEBER is well known for his past cheer leading  and locker room dancing experience. Coach BIEBER will be utilizing these talents to earn a living within 24 months as the CLEMSON fan base ( well known for running off Coach Ken Hatfield after a 9 win/bowl victory season ) has had just about enough of this joker…………DABO BIEBER is also known for his recruiting and  At this rate, if CLEMSON can recruit another 1/2 dozen, 5 STAR players, to go along with the ones signed last year, they may only lose by three TD’s in next years bowl………. Now THAT will be a  real COACH OF THE YEAR performance.

2) THE OUTBACK BOWL -

MSU over UGA 33-30…………..Congratulations are in order for the 2011 SEC EAST CHAMP UGA BULLPUPS. You were the only SEC team to lose to a LITTLE 10 team in the SEC/LITTLE 10, 3 game showdown Jan. 2. Everyone on the planet, or the SEC which qualifies as the football planet, knew that you backed into the SEC EAST title and even though the delusional bare gummed fan base argued to the contrary, I, LARDASSIO, THE GREAT ONE, knew that UGA was a mere pretender. Let’s see……. you are up 16-0 against the 1/2 ass SPARKLES of MSU and let them come all the way back to steal a win from an SEC foe. The BULLPUPS have embarrassed themselves and the SEC for the last time. I just got off the phone with Mike ” The Mensch ” Slive ” and gave him the go ahead to initiate trade talks with the ACC.I am prepared to accept FSU or MIAMUH for the BULLPUPS. The SEC will get the short end of the deal, but neither of these lowly ACC teams will ever win enough games in the SEC to qualify for a bowl. Hence, the opportunity to lose in embarrassing fashion, to teams like the MSU SPARKLES will be removed from the table forever. Please join me in welcoming UGA to the ACC. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

3) THE GATOR BOWL -

UF over TOSU 24-17……….This is the only semi major, or what used to be considered a semi major bowl that I seriously considered leaving  off the LOSERS list, because neither team deserved a bid.  However, after a nanosecond of consideration, I knew that could not be. In a rare DOUBLE LOSER GAME, both teams are deemed LOSERS . Let’s examine TOSU……2011 was quite a year for the Cheats of Columbus. First, they were involved in the worst LITTLE 10 cheating scandal of all time ( all correctly predicted by THE GREAT ONE mind you). TOSU then cut a deal with the NCAA and ran Coach TRESSES out of town in a seemingly sincere gesture of appeasement to the NCAA. Well it all turned out to be a SCAM of OHIOAN proportions when they turned around and hired UNCLE DISTURBIE MEYER aka Capt. Thorazine. This is the same BUM that ditched UF last year because of mental health issues and the desire to spend more time with his family. TOSU deserves whatever they get, in this case, it will be another Coach within three years……………………..

Onward and further downward to UF, the team made great by Coach Spurrier and Ron Zook ( who do you think recruited all of DISTURBIES players ??? ) then cheapened by DISTURBIE MEYER.  No one, outside of GVILLE Florida, feels sorry for the GATORS because they have the most entitled/intolerable fans in CFB ( except for BAMA ). Thankfully ( again called by THE GREAT ONE ) , the run in GVILLE is over and we won’t have to worry about winning football teams again in Gainesville. Unless, of course, Coach Spurrier decides to return to his Alma Mater. This is not likely though as the UF admn., AD and BULL GATOR supporters Crapped all over the Man that brought them to the dance. That’s what you get when you don’t leave said dance with the one that brung you. However, UF’s unwanted lesson in humility is just what the Dr. ordered. DR. LARDASSIO that is……….WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

4) THE BCS TITLE GAME -

ALABAMA over LSU 21-0…………….  Oh boy, this will hurt worse than a tooth extraction but in order to maintain the integrity of this column, I have to say …… CONGRATULATIONS BAMA on winning the 2011-2012 BCS Nat Champ. BAMA won it all this year and much like UGA, coasted to their Bowl game with one of the easiest schedules in the SEC. To their credit, they did get hot when it counted and with LSU suffering an uncharacteristic bad game, were able to add another NAT CHAMP to the trophy case. I am especially disapointed in LSU since I had picked them to win it all this and last season. The BAYOU KITTY CATS were thoroughly dominated in every phase of the game and fittingly deserve the LARDASSIO’S LOSERS label for being  on the wrong side of this EPIC loss. So what if BAMA won the game ???  They are still the most despised program in CFB ( sincerest apologies to ND, MIAMUH and SCAL ) and if they are not, they ought to be. Why ??? Start with the fan base, the most obnoxious in CFB and it will only get worse now. Next up is LITTLE NICKY Saban……Nobody likes a liar and NICKY will never hear the end of it from THE GREAT ONE.  That’s ok though…..almost ALL of the BAMA NAT CHAMP teams were put together with numerous infractions of NCAA violations.  Hopefully SABAN is no different than BEAR BRYANT was in this regard and BAMA will again pay the price for CHEATERY. Hey, at least SABAN is straight ( I think ), unlike the BEAR and this may be his only saving grace.

5) THE CAPITAL ONE BOWL -

USC over NEBBISH 30-13……….. Proving that THE GREAT ONE is human after all ( my preseason ” wishfull thinking” pick was a 14-0 NAT CHAMP for the COCKS, my legit pick was for LSU to win all of the beans ) , the COCKS were still quite impressive in running the bumbling HUSKETTES off the field in Orlando. Bozo Pelini showed that 18 months of anger management not only took the edge off his temperament ( barely) , but it also negatively affected the on field performance of the HUSKETTES. The COCKS played HARD, the defense was STIFF and the offense PENETRATED the HUSKETTES repeatedly and often. We also learned that Steve Spurrier will be recognized as the greatest coach in CFB history after he wins the NAT CHAMP at USC.  NEBBISH should look on the bright side though, even in defeat, as they did manage to move up a notch in the conference pecking order as the LITTLE 10 is rated 1/100th of a decimal point higher than the IRRELEVANT 12. Hey, NEBBISH will take a victory wherever it can find one. Back to Pelini, the guy is a total embarrassment to NEBBISH and ducked Spurrier for the post game handshake . Tom Osborne will have the  BOZO out of Lincoln soon enough.

6) THE SUGAR BOWL -

MICHIGAN over VT 23-20………. THE GREAT ONE , LARDASSIO ( me ) is proud to proclaim that after watching the first 6 minutes of this FIASCO, I changed the channel and watched ” 3:10 TO YUMA ” . It’s a great Western movie and was the best way I could think of protesting one of the worst Bowl matches of all time. Sure, MEATCHICKEN was 10-2, but the LITTLE 10 had an historically down year, They lost to the SPARKLES and to one of the worst IOWA teams in recent memory. VT sported an identical record, but barely beat lowly DUKE and lost twice to the most OVER RATED CLEMSON team in recent memory. I guess what I want to say is that neither of these teams deserved a BCS bid and it is high time that the NCAA steps in and evicts the BCS and all of the local Bowl committees. Both are as crooked as they come and have ruined CFB. Almost forgot about the game, I only know what I read and saw in the first quarter, but it was a real stinker. MICHIGAN represented the third tier LITTLE 10 while VT was chosen to rep the 5th tier ACC.  VT  had their chances but forgot to bring a kicker to NAWLINS. WHATEVER, I don’t have anything else to say about this game.

7) THE HOLIDAY BOWL-

TX over CAL 21-10………. This game transpired much as I suspected it would. The once proud SHORTHORNS edging  out the Cal Bears of the PUNCHLESS 12. No one ever expects much from CAL, so I have to go with TX as the loser in the battle of two 7-5 teams. I am oh so happy to report yet again that something is VERY wrong in Austin. How can you have 10 straight top 10 recruiting classes and only win 7 games two years in a row ??? Gotta be the coaching. Mack Brown has to be pushing 80 years old and all of the warning signs are evident….You know the jig is up when the AD issues statements regarding long term contract extensions. What a load….This is a shameless ploy/plea for recruits to stay in Tx. instead of going to LSU, TAM, OKIE STATE or BAYLOR. I give Mack one more year before he packs it in and I look forward to another decade of bad football in Austin. WOOOOOOOOOO.

8)  THE CHAMPS SPORTS BOWL

FSU over NOTRE DAME 18-14……….The fearless squaws from Tallytown managed yet again to pull another totem pole sized horseshoe out of their ass in defeating the hapless IRISH in this  ” Turd in a punch ” bowl. Neither team was bowl worthy this year and 15 years ago, both teams would have been watching the bowls from home with these records.Everyone knows my position on the Choirboy’s and they did nothing to prove me wrong in gift wrapping this victory for the SEMI-NULL-SETS. Kelly will finish out his 5 year contract before heading to a Division ll coordinator position near you. Lastly…..What do you call the last 25 years of bad football in South Bend ??? A GREAT START………WOOOOOOOOOO.  Did the NULL-SETS think they would get off unscathed ??? NOT BLOODY LIKELY. FSPEWWW has owned recruiting for 5 plus years in Florida and still has nothing to show except back to back 4 loss seasons ( as predicted exactly by THE GREAT ONE ) and this is an improvement from the last BOOBY BOWDEN years. This was the year the squaws were supposed to win it all and in 5 months all of the preseason magazines will call FSPEWWW a top 10 team again. When will these JACKASSES learn ??? The ACC has proven to be Strychnine for FSPEWWW.

9)  THE FIESTA BOWL -

OKIE STATE over  STANFORD 41-38……….No way THE GREAT ONE will ever label STANFORD a LOSER. These guys are true student athletes and exhibit all good traits of overachievers. Give me these guys in a foxhole anytime……OKIE STATE, not so much. Of course the COWBOYS had a remarkable year, but I hearken back to the IOWA STATE loss and narrow wins over TX. , TAM and K-STATE. Sorry T. BOOGER PICKENS, you did not belong in the NAT CHAMP game . I don’t want to hear the plane crash excuse as I covered that earlier this season and you were outplayed by the SHORTHORNS and AGGIES. In the end, you are a victim of IRRELEVANT 12 affiliation, plain and simple. There is still a ray of hope for you and OKIE to join the SEC……….You wanna play for all the marbles ??? Then as the great TRED BARTA would say ” Do it the hard way ” the  SEC way.

11) THE INDEPENDENCE BOWL-

MIZZOU over UNC 41-24……….Another typical ACC Bowl game performance turned in by the TARCHEATS. This was an intriguing game of two programs headed in opposite directions. MIZZOU, the latest member of the SEC, is now a MADE team and will add a solid overall athletic program to the already superior SEC. UNC, is a RAM of another color. Exhibit A….They are, along with DUKE and a few more mouthy little N.C. schools, one of  the charter members of the rarely respected ACC. The UNC football program embarrassed the conference in major fashion by committing a vast number of NCAA infractions. That is not all however as the TARHEEL Basketball team, long rumored to operate outside of the law, is expected to be the target of an NCAA primary investigation that could begin before this basketball season is over. THE GREAT ONE, is saddened by the bad name that UNC has given to SOUTHERN Sports. Thankfully, it is the ACC ( remember MIAMUH ??? ) that will bear the brunt of  the NCAA’s wrath in 2012. I must add that the SOUTH is fortunate to have the SEC teams to improve the reputation recently sullied by the ACC and it’s members egregious acts. Thank you SEC.

12) THE ROSE BOWL -

OREGAMI over WISKY 45-38………. Little Chippy Kelly finally got a BCS Bowl win. Never mind that is was gained at the expense of the two loss LITTLE 1o Champ/chump WISKY Badgers another PRETENDER team that received NAT CHAMP ink earlier in the season. The only thing we learned from this game is that The PUNCHLESS 12 and LITTLE 10 are not worth the advertising Dollars spent on this one.

13) THE COTTON BOWL -

ARKYSLAW over KANSAS STATE 29-13……….What did you expect ??? The IRRELEVANT 12 vs. The SEC in another showdown. K-STATE looked good in this game and THE GREAT ONE was pleased with the athleticism and eagerness displayed by another better than average  K-STATE WILDCATS Football team. THE GREAT ONE has an even  greater amount of respect for Coach BILL SNYDER and wishes this team nothing but success. In fact, it would be OK with me if K-STATE took OKIES place and came over to the SEC, along with OKIE STATE……….. The HAWGS of ARKYSLAW proved that they are a very good team and once again represented the SEC with pride. The HAWGS are the only other team in the SEC that I can tolerate so best of luck to these guys as you should finish very close to the top 5 this year…..WOOOOOOOOOOOO…….PIG.

14) THE TICKET CITY BOWL-

HUSELESS over SANDUSKY STATE 30-14 ………. OK, I admit it, I am not even sure what conference the HUSELESS COUGARS are in and I do not intend to take the time to look it up. THE GREAT ONE does know that at one point during the regular season, several sportswriters, primarily from the South West had the nerve to mention HUSELESS and BCS Bowl/ NAT CHAMP in the same sentence.THE GREAT ONE told you all that it was nonsense and as usual, LARDASSIO scored a bullseye. Speaking of a Bullseye SANDUSKY STATE came into this game with a huge Brown eyed Winker tatooed on their on their backs, literally. Seems that Jerry Sandusky still has access to the locker room and painted a faux anus on the game jerseys for a little Holiday target practice. Remember, I, LARDASSIO, THE GREAT ONE, or me, predicted what was to transpire at SANDUSKY STATE the day it was reported and did not have to wait three weeks for the story to develop. Eat your heart out ESPN, YAHOO/RIVALS, NBC etc. The proof is in my blog.

15) THE BELK BOWL-

N.C. STATE over “LOUISE” VILLE ” 31-24……….                                                                                                                                            1st floor…..Women’s clothes, 2nd floor…..Sporting goods, 3rd floor…..1/2 ass 4th tier bowl games airing on a Tuesday evening. For those of you not from the deep South, let me explain what a BELK is. BELK’S is a 3rd rate,  North Carolina based department store chain that makes WalMart look like Saks Fifth Avenue. This game featured teams from the worst major conferences in CFB, the ACC and the BE., locked in mortal combat to determine who plays the crappiest CFB in America. At the time this game was played, I was ready to award the crown to the BE. That is until CLEMSON was publicly drawn and quartered in The ORANGE Bowl. The Wolfpack is not too bad and is the only N.C based team, besides Wake Florist that is tolerated by THE GREAT ONE. ” LOUISE ” VILLE, on the other hand needs to give up football. Old Charlie Strong looks like an ass now for agreeing to coach here. Oh well, we can’t all be WINNERS, like LARDASSIO……WOOOOOOOOOO.

16) THE ALAMO BOWL-

BAYLOR over WASHINGTON 67-56……….. Robert Griffin lll proved to be good, IRRELEVANT 12 good. Look what happened to the Heisman trophy winner when they ran into the defensive juggernaut of the PUNCHLESS 12. I, LARDASSIO, THE GREAT ONE, want to personally thank the monkey that put this game together. Whomever you are, you singlehandedly proved what I have said all season long……Both the PUNCHLESS  and Irrelevant 12 are 2nd rate conferences. THE BATTLING BAPTISTS of BAYLOR,  mighty conquerors of OKIE and TX. narrowly won in a offensive slug fest against the  7-5 HUSKIES. Put it this way, both Wake Florist and Vandy would run either of these teams off the field.

17) THE PINSTRIPE BOWL -

RUTGERS over IOWA STATE 27-13………………The BABE , DIMAGGIO , MARTIN and MANTLE are turning over in their graves. Not that they have a bowl in the new Yankee stadium, they are incredulous that the BE has an automatic tie in. What the Hell, Rutgers and the BE has feelings too, might as well let them play against a 6-6 CYCLONE team. I give up…….Just shoot me already.

18) THE INSIGHT.COM BOWL -

OKIE over IOWA 31-14……………… Well look where the preseason NAT CHAMP ended up. In the CRAPPER, right where THE GREAT ONE said they belonged. I don’t have anything against OKIE, in fact, I lobbied extensively to invite them to the SEC. I felt that a decade in the big leagues would have possibly put them back in contention for a NAT CHAMP. Twas not to be though as the OKIES chose instead to make their bed and hump in it with the SHORTHORNS of TX. Speaking of TX., I fully expect Bob Stoops to join Mack Brown in the unemployment line very soon. The top two teams of the IRRELEVANT 12 have brought down the overall quality of the conference to an historic low and have been replaced in the pecking order by OKIE STATE and BAYLOR. Now THAT is sweet justice………………….

Wait a minute, Iowa did lose the game though. The Hog Farmers have marched steadily backwards over the last three years and ended up at 7-6 after losing to OKIE. Six losses, The .COM bowl and membership in the LITTLE 10…… That is punishment enough, I wouldn’t wish that on CLEMSON.

19) The CHICK- FIL-A BOWL -

AUBUM over VIRGINIA 43-24…………..The HIGH PLAINS CHEATERS had to overcome a major obstacle this year……..They are under intense NCAA scrutiny and had to play by the rules. I don’t care what any AUBUM fan says….The TIGERS cheated and that is that. The YAHOOS of UVA are not a Football school and really aren’t even a basketball school anymore either. The ACC just can’t catch a break this year and never will as long as I have any say in the matter.

20)  THE SUN BOWL -

UTAH over GEORGIA TECH 30-27…………..The RAMBLING SMEGMA of GEORGIA TECH didn’t quite have enough firepower to overcome the UTERUSES, but they sure gave the old college try. This bowl supplies further evidence that CFB needs to seriously consider conference contraction. Losing the ACC would not be such a bad idea.

21)  THE ARMED FORCES BOWL -

BYU over  TULSA  24-21……………..So the Grand High Poobah of the Mormon Church decided BYU merits their own sports network ??? This idea is almost as bright as ordering Mitt Romney to run for President. OK, so they beat Tulsa on a last second TD, but outside of the mediocre State of Utah, who would waste time or pay money to watch this crappy product ??? BYU isn’t even the number one team in Utah for Pete’s sake. If  I, LARDASSIO, THE GREAT ONE, were calling the shots in Provo, I would form a Football wagon train, ala Joseph Smith, and migrate Westward to the PUNCHLESS 12, or even East to the MAC. At least TX. is populated by 28 million sucker SHORTHORN fans that will follow their Fearless Flits through thick and thin. Utah has about 3 million and less than 1/3 are actually practicing Mormons. Mitt Romney has more chance of being a two time President than the Cougars have of EVER playing competitive football again.

22) THE LITTLE CAESERS PIZZA BOWL -

PURDUE over WESTERN MICHIGAN 37-32………. The LITTLE 10 rolled out one of their best teams to battle the Broncos of WEST MICH.Some would argue that the game was closer than it should have been. LARDASSIO, THE GREAT ONE, predicted as much all season long and THE LITTLE 10 proved once again that they are only 1/2 step ahead of the MAC.

23) THE  MAACO BOWL -

BOISE STATE over ARIZONA STATE 56-24……… As much as I like the Potato Farmers, I have to call them the LOSER in this game. Not due to on field performance mind you. No, BOISE was boned by the BCS. The Fighting Potato-ans are also a victim of geography and population. No way in Hell the PUNCHLESS 12 is ever going to ask BOISE to join their little party. The Broncos have proved they can beat just about anybody in the nation as well as lose one game a year to any nobody. Joining the Big East is the only viable option available. With any luck and if Patterson can continue to reload, They should make it back to a BCS soon. Too bad that the SOS of the BIG EAST will prevent BOISE from winning a NAT CHAMP, even if they manage to run the table.

24) THE BBVA COMPASS BOWL -

SMU over PITT 28-6………. This was NOT your Fathers team at PITT. No freaking way. The great years of Dorsett, Green, Jackson, Marino etc. are a very distant memory. In fact,  Pitt hasn’t put a decent product on the field since Reagan was in office. Better days are not in store as the pitiful PANTHERS, along with SYRACUSE, will join the illustrious ACC next season. With UCF joining the BE, it looks like the ACC gets the hind TIT yet again………Headed in the opposite direction are the MUSTANGS of SMU.  LARDASSIO finds it difficult to pull against the the NAGS, even if Craig James played there. These guys have come along nicely since the death penalty years. Hopefully, they will continue to improve and steal as many recruits from TX. as they can.

25) THE MUSIC CITY BOWL -

MISSISSIPPI STATE over WAKE FLORIST 23-17………..What do you expect when you pit a bottom of the barrel 6-6 SEC team vs.  one of the better ACC teams, also 6-6 ??? Answer…..An SEC win of course. MISSY STATE had 4-5 turnovers and showed why they were sitting in the back of the SEC bus this year, but it was MORE THAN ENOUGH to defeat the DEMON DEACONS. THE GREAT ONE is a WAKE FLORIST fan and will withhold derisive comments, as well as  expectations for this small  private Baptist school in N.C. Indeed, they have played very well the last 6-7 seasons, considering the academic requirements from within they must operate. Besides, on a given day, WAKE can play and beat almost anyone…..Just ask FSPEWWW….LOSERS to WAKE this season an 1or two more times over the last decade.

26) THE MEINEKE CAR CARE BOWL -

TAM over  NORTHWESTERN 33-22………….The FIGHTING SCIENTISTS are the most likeable LITTLE 10 team and THE GREAT ONE has a hard time pulling against them. However, that does not excuse their affiliation with the LEGENDLESS and LEADERLESS pack of pretenders. NORTHWESTERN is an excellent academic school that rivals any academic program in the SEC. ….MICHIGAN, TOSU, WISKY and THE SPARKLES could all benefit from adopting the  strict academic standards employed at NORTHWESTERN and in the SEC…… This is a great opportunity to welcome TAM to the SEC.  THE GREAT ONE, joins the entire world of CFB  in admiration of the heroic and principled stand taken against the evil greed of TX. and wishes you nothing but success( especially against BAMA, UGA, and UF…the most obnoxious members in the SEC ). Welcome home TAM, welcome home.

27) THE FIGHT HUNGER BOWL -

ILLINOIS over UCLA 20-14………. Say WHAT ??? UCLA ends the season with 8 losses and the ILLINI finish with 6 ??? I never want to see either of these teams mentioned in the same sentence as the word BOWL again…..EVER. DISGRACEFUL. The only FIGHT in this Bowl was between The Lifetime network and The Hallmark channel for broadcasting rights.

28) THE LIBERTY BOWL-

CINCY over VANDY 31-24………. The BE did surprised no one in the regular season, but did manage a respectable showing during in the Bowl’s. VANDY played well this year and I figured they would beat up on the BEARCATS. Hey , nobody is perfect all of the time, including the SEC, but it was the COMMODES, so no real loss of respect in this one.

That’s all for this season folks. I told you there were to many Bowl games and the rest do not rate mention. THE GREAT ONE does not want any complaints either as 2/3 of the games that did make the list were hardly worth including. Now it is time to shift my focus to other projects like my major expose on BEAR BRYANT ( Expected release Spring 2012) and the pending NCAA investigation of the UNC TARCHEAT Basketball team.  Anyway, that’s a wrap for 2011-2012 and remember try not to be a LOSER this year. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

  1. brad smith says:

    Thanks for not fuckin with TCU or Houston. Must be you can’t say a bad word against em. Good tidings and cheer for you.

    • lardassio says:

      I did refer to Houston as HUSELESS……….THE GREAT ONE, likes the city of Houston a great deal and has no problem with TCU either. However, NO ONE is immune to my venom, including my Alma Mater. If ANY team screws up, you can count on reading about it here. Have a good off season and thanks for stopping by. WOOOOOOOOOO.

  2. Engrish says:

    It’s = it is
    Its = possessive; belonging to it

    You should really learn basic English if you expect to have a blog. Moron.

    • lardassio says:

      Here is how it works Mr. TMB………..My Blog is written off the cuff, stream of thought with NO editing. What you see is the first draft and you will LIKE it. This is THE GREAT ONES unique style and has enabled me to build the EMPIRE from which I gaze down upon you and the rest of the Community College English teachers that would DARE confront THE GREAT ONE.

      • THE GREATER ONE says:

        So basically you are saying that you don’t bother with the fundamentals of writing? Is that why you have a blog site and you aren’t actually on any major sports news sites?

        • lardassio says:

          I am not picked up by any major site because, I make the market, or am usually the first to give my readers the real side of every story, several weeks before the big boys are aqllowed to go to press. The major writers tune into my blog daily and lift whatever they can carry. Several careers have been made due to the content of this hallowed BLOG. Just read it and enjoy. Funny how the TMB Coeds are the first to complain, yet visit in droves and stay longer per visit than visitors from any other source. Enjoy.

  3. ... says:

    WOW you suck… I mean honestly, I know kindergarteners who can write better than you

  4. Joe says:

    You talked about Romney a bit in the BYU writeup….I’m curious, who do you support in the upcoming election?

    Great stuff as always, Great one!

  5. BamaMan says:

    I got down to the part where you congratulated Bama on their National Championship and then went on into bashing them and had to stop reading. Why is it people like you can’t see that Bama has done nothing wrong. Don’t you think Coach Nick Saban’s credentials alone could be a factor as to why Alabama attracts the best players in the country? People always say to me ‘you are being naive if you think they are not cheating’. I think that everyone else is being naive thinking that just because a program is a proven winner then they have to be cheating. Coach Saban proved himself a great recruiter and a brilliant defense mind while he was at LSU. This makes young men want to come and play for him. Don’t you think that a kid might chose Alabama for the sure fact that he see’s the trophy case and knows that if he comes to Alabama he is going to have a better chance at competing for National Championships year in and year out? I don’t expect you to listen to anything that I have wrote because I can see by your writing that you are pretty biased. You claim to have a love for the SEC then you make fun of some of the most celebrated schools in the conference. Do you know why nobody likes Alabama fans and we are “the most hated obnoxious fan base in CFB”? Because if the rest of the country is not calling us stupid, toothless, rednecks, gumps then they are saying we are cheaters and that there is no way the State of Alabama could possibly be better than the rest of the country at anything. After listening to that crap all day long you would start to become an A-hole too, and every single time you won anything you would shove it down everybody else’s throat. I admit that some of our fans take it too far, such as Harvey Updyke but that doesn’t mean that you judge a whole fan base on a few crazy nut job fans. For instance I am sure their are plenty of USC fans that have committed murder and are in prison serving life sentences. Does that mean that all USC fans are murderers? No it does not. I try my best to just ignore the constant scrutiny and ridicule that comes with being an Alabama fan but sometimes, like this one, I have just had enough. We are good people here in Alabama. We are raised to love our country, our family and our college football team of choice. If reading this changes just the way that one person looks at us that would be great. If not, I wouldn’t be surprised. It’s always a whole lot easier to hate what you don’t understand rather than try to understand it.

    • lardassio says:

      I don’t know what to say…..BAMAFAN hit the nail square on the head…….BAMA FANS are HUMANS too, why can’t we show them the respect they deserve ??? Why can’t we just live together in peace and harmony ??? Why can’t the MISS AMERICA show be on TV every night ??? Why has BAMA not erected a statue to Harvey Updyke ( This was the greatest all time CFB prank ) ??? I want us all to join hands now and sing, sing out loud, the world is a beautiful place filled with butterflies and strawberry fields……………

  6. Football247 says:

    So let me just reassure myself of what I just witnessed. You watched or took a glance at every bowl game and then tried your hardest to bash on almost every single team regardless of how well they did in the game. Hope the unemployment checks keep your internet bills paid so you can continue to give us your wonderful thoughts on everything.

  7. Nole says:

    Man this Internet has given every Tard a voice, Yes Lard ASS, talking to you. I think you should maybe get a life and a job, cause I hear Aaron’s is beginning to pick up the “rent to own” computers. Imagine what this FAT BASTARD sitting in McD using the FREE Wi-Fi, scarfing a BIG BREAKFAST that you panhandled the night before… That is all you are….
    Know very little about CFB, but you think you do..

    How’s that GED workin for ya???

    • lardassio says:

      My degree from USC pays dividends every day, unlike a degree from the Harvard of North West Central Florida Panhandle State ( aka FSPEWWW), but you do have a great music program. How are 10 straight top 10 recruiting classes, resulting in back to back 4 loss seasons working for you ??? Even THE GREAT ONE is embarrassed when FSPEWWW loses to CLEMSON and WAKE FLORIST on a regular basis.

  8. Isaac says:

    This could possibly be the worst fucking blog ever. Your writing’s tone is horrible and you constantly refer to yourself in the 3rd person because you think you are the most amazing person ever. Your blog isn’t funny and writing WOOOOOOOOOOOO makes you sound like a teenage girl or a fat drunk hick.

  9. lardassio says:

    Wow. I just put down my meth pipe and now I see that I am a completely useless douchebag who is offensive to all, including the English language. I sincerely apologize to the world and will refrain from any further communication with anyone.

    • lardassio says:

      Thank GOD I am alive…..I was kidnapped by a group of RIVALS MODS and forced to type the above comment……….They told me that if I did nopt do as I was told, I would be forced to see BAMAGRAD75 naked. I was literally shaking as I typed whatever they wanted……….

  10. Jude Tennenbaum says:

    This is the education you get at USC?

    Note : not everyone ends up educated if they go to college.

    Special Note : The owner of the blog would like everyone to know he is a mental midget and a raving lunatic.

    • lardassio says:

      Hey Jude……..Don’t be afraid, You were sent to make my blog better….The minute You let me under your skin, then you will begin to get better…..better….better……………………..WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

  11. FCKaHATER says:

    USC graduate huh? how have you enjoyed the probation? wait, USC couldnt make a bowl game anyways! lane kiffin said i was gonna be workin at a gas pump if i committed to florida state but instead i happily reside on the part of the country that wins every championship in every sport. Lets just say i like surrounding myself with champions…WHOOOOOOOOOO

  12. Im lame. Wooooooooooooooooooo! Go cox woooooooooooooooo! Spurrier, wooooooooooooooooo! Go Garcia, wooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! My blog is superior, woooooooooooooooooo! All other teams suck wooooooooooooooooooooo! FSU…wooooooooooooooooooooooooo! Im awesome because of my blog woooooooooooooooooooo!

    • lardassio says:

      To those of you who may not be familiar with the author of this comment, let me introduce you to JB Stevens, well known cross dresser from North Carolina. I promised JB that I would include him in my BEAR BRYANT expose, now I can’t get him to leave me alone….A promise is a promise JB, I will include your escapades in the expose.

  13. Rob says:

    This was the worst read of the post college football season yet. You tried to hard to be funny, yet you were not even close. You just regurgitate what the mainstream media says about the SEC and belittle the other conferences as if you actually know much about them. Must be yet another SEC moron. This was pathetic and a waste of my day.

    • lardassio says:

      AHHHHH, Rob Barton, my nemesis…….I don’t read the crap produced by the mainstreamers, They read and STEAL from THE GREAT ONE, LARDASSIO ( me)……I have no peer.

  14. J Trav says:

    Looks like most readers were birthed, or hatched (ND and Clemsin I see you) without the satirical gene. With so many bad games why bother reading from the other guys stuff that makes you sleepy. Great read.

    • lardassio says:

      Trav…..That is what makes my work so rewarding and interesting……Educating the humorless heathens of CLEMSON and Laughless lechers of ND………Your comments are appreciated.

  15. zach says:

    you really know nothing about college football…

    • lardassio says:

      LARDASSIO, THE GREAT ONE (me) had forgotten more about CFB than you will ever learn………WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

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